Since I gained a million pounds when I was pregnant, I have spent the last year making a concerted effort to clean up my act, drop the weight, and get in shape.
The first year after Ev's birth I did….nothing. Most of that year I was trying to haul myself out of a miserable, deep, dark pit of postpartum depression and then we moved overseas, so my enthusiasm for fitness was basically nil. I think I maybe took a walk one time? Yes, and then I looked down at little E in her pram, saw her turning blue in the cold and was like OK WE'RE DONE, NEVER WALKING AGAIN! and hightailed it back home.
After her first birthday and our move, I was ready. Because, hello! AMERICA! SUNSHINE! GYMS- everywhere! HAPPINESS! and did I say sunshine? Glorious sunshine! Also, I was very tired of wearing large pants.
Our sassy little realtor was a barre instructor who taught at a studio just down the street. I interpreted this as A SIGN and promptly signed up for six months of classes. Even though I don't really like working out and hadn't worked out at all since before my wedding.
But you know what? It was great. I've never worked out so much in my life! I went to class religiously. It was seriously my kind of work out (if there could be such thing). You get to wear cute clothes and fun socks. You don't sweat too much. It's air conditioned. There are peppy, well constructed playlists that I didn't have to put together. And I'll be damned if I didn't drop a size or two!
Bliss. I signed up for another six months. More toning, not so much pound dropping or size dropping. Frustration. I started looking for something more "serious". I figured there was only so far I could go doing plies and lifting pink weights, right?
Enter Crossfit (cue dramatic music).
I started a Crossfit beginners class this week, which is essentially a series of semi-private personal training sessions. Y'all. I don't know what to think about this. On the surface, it is so not me at all. Everyone is REALLY! INTO! FITNESS! and very sweaty. Everything looks really industrial and is all metal. There is no A/C. But…. I'm kinda digging that I can just about do a correct pushup now, and squat and lift heavy things! I feel sort of, I don't know, tough? empowered?
But it's still super intimidating and my knees kinda hurt and I'm just not sure if I can take it. I have mild anxiety just sitting here thinking about going tomorrow! What's the deal? I don't think I'm just a lazy anti-gym loser, but I feel like I'm flunking Crossfit. Crossflunk. Maybe? Aren't I supposed to LOVE IT?! Do I just need more time?
What's your fitness regime? Got any tips for me? I need to do something but I'm just not quite sure I've found it yet.
(Also posted on the new site, www.loveinthevillage.com. The comments should be fixed and the RSS should be up and working- please update your feeds and let me know if you have any problems! Thanks for your patience!)